The sugar baby lifestyle is not for everyone, clearly, but for those who can do it, it is a great option. For the sugar baby, their financial needs are met and for the sugar mama or sugar daddy, they get the companionship that they want without having to change their lifestyle. There are male and female sugar babies, but thanks to a recent interview with a 23-year-old activist, actress, jazz singer and sugar baby names Athena, a deep look into how a sugar baby arrangement with a woman is much different. Sugar mama’s and sugar daddies behave s differently as women and men normally do, and it is just as interesting as you think. Keep reading for more information!
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Athena. When people truly understand what a sugar baby is, they start to draw a lot of conclusions about possible gold diggers and elevated prostitutes, but that is inaccurate. Athena, for example, is n activist who also volunteers for Doctors without Borders and several animal rights organizations. She is a talented jazz singer, a spiritual person and an actress and she is also a sugar baby.
The Job. Anything where you provide a service and receive payment for it, you are in business. For sugar babies, they provide on call companionship that doesn’t burden down their daily schedules or that of their clients, the Sugar Daddies and Sugar Mamas. The arrangements are agreed upon first and can include a monthly allowance, transportation and shopping or upkeep treatments.
The Couple. Athena recounts the beginning of her sugaring relationship. “The Sugar Mama arrangement started out with a request for a sugar baby to a couple. She advertised herself as married, and that she and her husband were looking for someone. But once I met them, it was more her thing. She was 49 when we first started the arrangement, but she didn’t look a day over 38. She had a youthful spirit, too. “
The Client. “The true client in the arrangement was clearly the one who needed the fullness She worked in the fashion industry, but she doesn’t work anymore, which is why she had the free time to hang out with me. I think her husband is an agent. Combined, they were pretty well-off.”
Couples. Couples with a sugar baby are not uncommon, though they are not the norm. Athena later notes these are bisexual women who do not want to cut their husbands out of a portion of their life and the husbands, wanting their wives to be happy, agree to the use of a sugar baby to supplement their wife’s happiness. It happens in reverse sometimes as well.
The Husband. Her husband would hang out with us sometimes, but for the most part, when we were together, he was gone. We never had a threesome, because he wasn’t really in the picture. It was just me and her who spent so much time together, and so, I was only comfortable doing sexual things with her. Honestly, I didn’t really ever know where I stood with him — if he saw me as this person that was there merely to serve his wife, like the help. His energy toward me definitely felt weird.
Seeking Arrangement. Many sugar babies find their sugar relationships on SeekingArrangment.com. It is a site built to support this type of connection with in-depth dating profiles, so people can meet and get exactly what they want on both sides. Athena met her Sugar Mama on the site and the arrangement continued for a good while.
Signing Up. “I first signed on to SeekingArrangement in November 2015 to meet both men and women. One of my friends told me she met this guy on there, and he was helping her pay for school. I was like, “Wow, that’s amazing.” I waited to feel it out a little bit because I was nervous, so my first experience was in early February 2016, when I met a gentleman for lunch up the street from where I was living. It was just us talking. We went on a couple dates after that, but we didn’t end up having an arrangement,” Athena recalled.
Not Just Sex. There are a lot of arrangements that do not include sex, but it isn’t the majority. Many of the arrangements do include sex in the entire package but these details have to be worked out with the sugar baby. The best sugar babies are upfront, candid and communicative. Sugaring is a business transaction and business is best done with a clear head.
Companionship. For women and men, having a sugar baby is like having a custom companion. Athena notes the differences in the behavior towards their sugar baby that is not at all surprising. Their behavior is very much the essence of how men and women approach life.
The Women. With Sugar Mama’s the way most women do business respectfully is very visible and easily understood. Athena reveals “There’s a big difference between Sugar Daddies and Sugar Mamas in how they talk about sex. Women tend to be straight to the point and direct about what they want, but they also know that it’s about making you feel comfortable, so they can get what they want.”
The Men. When it comes to men, there is no surprise that they expect what they pay for, sometimes in ways that can be problematic. “With men, they’re looking at you as this doll — this sex toy that they now have access to whenever they want, as long as they have money. They’ll be like, “You’re going to do this because I’m paying for your services. I am entitled to you. I own you, and you’re gonna do what I ask you to do.”
Fetishes. As expected, Athena is approached with some requests she just is not comfortable with. She handles them tactfully without engaging. “There are also things I won’t accept, like certain types of role-playing. I’m a black woman, and sometimes the men and women on the site have this fetish for black women. They’ll ask me to wear a kinky afro wig or say things like, “You have to speak to me in a ghetto voice” — things that are a liiittle racist and uncomfortable. Similarly, there are certain types of fetishes I won’t do — specifically, father-daughter role-playing, which I can’t get into. I’ve even had people ask to do grandfather-granddaughter things. To me, things of that nature are crossing a line. I’m not here for that. I’m sure there are other women who’d be willing to do that, but not me.”
Her Arrangement. Athena’s situation was what most sugar babies would call ideal. She reveals that “As for money, my arrangement with my Sugar Mama was, like I said, a monthly allowance. Plus, she’d pay for transportation from where I was living to get to wherever we were meeting up. She also paid for little things here and there along the way. One time, for example, I had an audition and I wanted to get my hair done, which she covered. I’d see her every weekend. We’d go out for dinner, have drinks or I’d come over to her house to watch Netflix. It was kind of like she was my girlfriend, but with less pressure and less expectation as far as me dating other people or me not texting her every single day.
What She Learned. Athena speaks incredibly highly of her former Sugar Mama. “She just invested in trying to be my friend from the beginning. She understood that I came on the site for financial support, but once she realized that I had a lot more to offer, she wanted to allow me to be the version of myself I’d be if I wasn’t getting paid, if it hadn’t been a transactional thing. Not only did she encourage it, but she celebrated it, which made me feel so much more confident in myself when I was around her. Same for when I was around other people. Our relationship had an impact on my entire life and how I went about dealing with people. She was incredibly uplifting and inspiring. That made it so much easier for me to almost fall for her.”