Arguments are a natural part of partnering up with someone. After all, it’s pretty impossible to integrate someone seamlessly into your life. But if your partner picks fights with you, it can be a window into a part of their personality you might not have thought much about.
And while only you can figure out whether the fighting is toxic or not, there are some bigger indicators as to how things might go down between the two of you — like astrology. “Whether you’re the type that likes to fight or to keep the peace, gaining insight to a zodiac sign’s motivation may just be the key to happiness in your relationship,” astrologer Cindy Mckean tells Bustle.
Even if your partner is sign with difficult characteristics, it’s important to know that they can work on themselves, and the two of you can work on your relationship, just like anybody else. “Each zodiac sign has general positive and negative traits, but there are evolutions of self within each sign’s growth trajectory, and communication styles will become more peaceful as the sign evolves and does their self-work,” Jaye from GiftedAstrology.com tells Bustle. Astrology is there to help give you a little bit of insight as to why, perhaps, your partner won’t forgive you for watching that show on Netflix without them. But it’s up to the two of you to work it out.
Here are the four zodiac signs most likely to pick fights with their partners, according to astrologers.
Aries (March 21 – April 19)
Aries is not only the first fire sign, it’s the first sign in the zodiac overall. “[Because of that], Aries prefer to be first in everything and their communication style can come off as aggressive (even when they’re not trying to be),” Jaye says.
But what makes Aries so temperamental is also what makes them incredibly lovable and exciting to date. “Aries are passionate people that are full of enthusiasm, energy, and vigor,” McKean says. You just have to know that if you’re sticking around with an Aries as your partner, you’ll have to be ready for a bit of a spark every now and again.
“Sometimes it’s best to put your pride aside and let Aries cool off. The same way it’s easy to get them riled up, they’re also quick to forget. Let them be; they’ll get over it,” astrologer Valerie Mesa tells Bustle.
Gemini (May 21 – June 20)
Being in a relationship with a Gemini can, well, be a bit like a seesaw. “Back and forth, up and down, in and out, you may not know if your Gemini partner is coming or going,” McKean says. “In truth, they really aren’t aware that they may have disrupted anyone’s sense of consistency.” Your Gemini partner isn’t trying to upset you though, their brain might just work a bit differently than yours.
“Change the subject,” Mesa suggests. “Geminis are so inquisitive, they thrive off mental stimulation. Luckily for you, they’re not emotional; therefore, it won’t be difficult to switch up the conversation [or] vibe.” So, in particularly difficult moments, you may have to be the voice of reason. But they should come back down to earth in no time.
Leo (July 23 – August 22)
Leos love to shine. But that’s not always going to go well in a relationship. “Leo is the second fire sign in the zodiac wheel and they are quick to heat up, especially when they don’t get what they want,” Jaye says. And if they feel like you’ve stolen their thunder, they might have some difficulty forgetting it.
If your Leo partner keeps thinking you’re personally attacking them (even when you aren’t), just remember that communication skills are your friend. Luckily for you, any mature partner can be talked down with love and patience.
Virgo (August 23 – September 22)
Virgos are known to love things their way. And while this might show up in some lovable characteristics, like a perfectly curated record collection, or checklist of date ideas, it could also be a sticking point in your fights as a couple. “‘The last thing Virgo wants is to pick a fight with their partner; however, they also can’t help but want things done a certain way,” Mesa says.
For the happiest relationship with a Virgo, you’ll need to really lean into your ability to compromise. “Meet them halfway. Come up with some sort of agreement. You will know right away if your … Virgo prefers still water over sparkling; in other words, get to know them, and pay attention to the details. It’s the little things,” Mesa says. You’ll be rewarded with an incredibly loving, and reliable, partner.
When someone picks a fight, it’s usually not a sign of a self-assured person. “When any zodiac is picking a fight, it’s an unfortunate indication that they haven’t matured or spent enough time on their own personal growth,” Jaye says. Anyone who works hard can get past these aspects of their personality and move on. After all, there are important fights to have in a relationship, and unimportant ones.