Creating a spiritual connection with your partner isn’t about indoctrinating them into believing what you believe or liking what you like. Nor is creating a spiritual connection about changing the other person to be more “spiritual.” Both of these approaches are immature and damaging to your relationship.
Instead, creating a spiritual connection is about deepening the Soul contact between the two of you. Spiritual connection is about becoming vulnerable, engaged, attentive, open, and receptive to the other person.
Here are some recommendations:
1. Give more eye contact
One of the saddest things I often see are couples that no longer give each other eye contact. These couples communicate with each other, often stringing out whole conversations without so much as a glance at the other.
Eye contact is extremely intimate. When you give your partner eye contact, you are basically showing them that you are interested and deeply engaged in what they’re saying. Eye contact is not only a sign of respect, it is the best way to connect with another person’s Soul. Have you ever heard of “soul gazing”? Soul gazing is based on the premise that you can bathe in the waters of another person’s Soul through gazing into their eyes.
2. Set aside “us time” each day
Sometimes life is just too damn busy to have the energy to maintain a relationship. One of the easiest things you can do is setting aside time each day out of your busy schedule to exclusively sit with your partner. Even sitting together in each other’s arms on the couch watching a movie is a good way to begin deepening your spiritual connection.
3. Explore what spiritual lessons your partner is teaching you
Even if not done consciously, your partner’s behavior, words, and thoughts can teach you a lot. Having a spiritual connection is about learning how to spiritually grow in your partnership. What is your partner teaching you? Remember, our partners often see our “blind spots” and so can reveal a lot to us about ourselves, even unintentionally.
4. Touch more
Physical touch is an immensely important element of creating a spiritual connection. The subtle energy exchanged through touch is very binding in that it helps to create a deeper affinity with your partner. Physical touch is soothing, comforting, and can often express much more than words can.
5. Have meaningful conversations
What is in your heart? What means a lot to you that you want to share with someone? What epiphanies have you had? Start a conversation with your loved one. I like to have meaningful conversations with Luna during our morning walks. Share whatever is on your mind and find a regular place and time to do that.
6. Find ways to laugh together
Laughter opens the heart and deepens your spiritual connection immediately. Learn how to laugh at yourself, your partner, and together with each other, in a light-hearted way. Even simply watching funny videos together can deepen your bond.
7. Openly communicate your feelings
Most disconnected relationships lack open communication. Open communication is the ability to express your thoughts and feelings honestly while respecting the other person. Psychologist Marshall Rosenberg calls this “non-violent communication” (I recommend that you read his book for more guidance). When you feel hurt, angry, isolated, or any other emotion, express that to them. Not even your partner can read your mind, so don’t make that assumption. Openly communicating how you feel is the cornerstone of an honest relationship based on mutual caring, respect, and love.
8. Practice self-love
It’s true: without truly loving and embracing yourself as you are, you will struggle to unconditionally love your partner. Instead, you will impose endless expectations, demands, and beliefs on them surrounding who they “should” be and how they “should” act. By practicing self-love, and accepting all the light and darkness within you, you will deepen your spiritual connection with your partner. True change comes from within, so if you want your relationship to become richer, you need to make your relationship with yourself richer.
9. Forgive past hurts
Holding onto grudges and mental “tallies” of wrongdoings is a surefire way to sully any relationship. The more you hold onto grievances, the more isolated and distant you will feel from your partner. If you tend to hold grudges, try to make space for yourself to let go and open your heart to forgiveness. Most likely, you may need to openly communicate how you feel to your partner in a respectful and non-violent manner to seek closure.