So, you’ve had a crush on a guy for a while now but you’re not sure if you should promote him to being your boyfriend. You can’t just throw caution to the wind and date him, consequences be damned. You need to really think about his qualifications first. You can turn to his zodiac or take a look at his past relationships, but the bottom line is simple: You have a certain outlook when it comes to dating and he has another. How well do each of your ideals match up and what is most important to each of you?
If you’re not sure which of your priorities are most important, consider a few crucial points offered by happy women from around the world! They’ve had failed relationships and learned some very important lessons from them. Since then, they’ve found real joy in fulfilling relationships with men made of perfect boyfriend material! So what secrets do these women keep and can they really help you figure out whether your guy will make good a boyfriend? Keep reading to find out! Consider every gem of wisdom below and ask yourself if you boy toy would agree. If he fights you on even one of these points, he’s definitely not going to be a good boyfriend!
Get it? Got it? Good!
What makes this line so great is how the speaker refuses to leave any room for discussion. He will either agree or he won’t be part of her life. It’s good for women to make a stand and be clear about the relationship they expect, especially when they say it from the get go. Men can be tricky and sometimes they’ll try to fall back on the old, “You never said I couldn’t” excuse. Don’t leave any room for misunderstandings, stand up for yourself and speak out on behalf of your relationship! Show him you’re serious, then make sure he knows that while you can be tough in some areas, you can be lenient in others. Don’t make a habit of bossing him around, this isn’t about that. You’re just making sure the rules are clear.
Wanna Test The Relationship? You’ve Already Lost
One might assume “loyalty” is synonymous with the word “pushover,” but that definitely isn’t the case. To be loyal to someone is to give them the respect they deserve by not cheating on them. A pushover, on the other hand, will stay with her man no matter what he does. See the difference? There’s one special aspect of all loyal people, and that is the way they fiercely guard their hearts. They are either all in or they are out – and there is no such thing as forgiveness. If you want your next potential boyfriend to be just as loyal as you are, make sure he isn’t willing to test your limits because once a loyal person is done with someone, there are no more chances.
That’s A Big “If” Though
If someone loves you, they won’t try to cheat on you. What would be the point? Real love is considering the other person’s feelings concerning all matters, meaning people in love will go out of their way to avoid behaving in a manner that might hurt their significant other. Of course this applies to cheating, lying or any other run-of-the-mill relationship breakers. If he’s willing to cheat, you don’t own his heart! If he can’t agree with this quote, guaranteed he will either attempt to cheat or will attempt to do something equally heartbreaking in the future. Do yourself a favor and let that boy go! If, however, he does agree, make sure you follow the same rules. Healthy relationships are those in which both parties give 100%!
You Don’t Want To Be “That” Guy
We are all weak to physical attractions. There will always be some pretty stranger who draws our attention, but that isn’t an excuse to disrespect your relationship, or theirs. If she’s in a relationship and he thinks it’s still okay to pursue her, something is wrong. By flirting or asking her out on dates, he is damaging her relationship with someone else and he is proving he isn’t respectful of any relationships at all, his own included. Even if he’s single while he’s chatting up a girl involved with someone else, he’s showing that he isn’t above stealing a girl and that he isn’t going to care as much once he’s got her. If your man has no problem going after someone in a relationship, guaranteed he’s in it for the challenge and will give up shortly after. Definitely not boyfriend material!
Are You Ready?
This is a tricky subject! People believe that once someone dumps them, it means the relationship has come to a close, which is technically true, but if you still pine after them and are willing to date someone else, it means your previous relationship hasn’t entirely concluded. Sure, on paper you’re single, but in your heart and in your mind, you’re still hoping the other person will come back to you. In other words, you’re not ready for a new relationship. If his ex still has a piece of his heart, it’s impossible for him to give it to you. Don’t even think about making a guy like this your next boyfriend. He isn’t ready and you don’t need the drama that comes with it!
Don’t Freaking Do It, Okay?
If you receive a text from your crush, the same guy who has made his intentions to be your next boyfriend very clear, and it’s about school or work, no biggie, right? But what happens when you receive a text from him and he’s obviously flirting with someone else? If he’s really into you, he isn’t going to worry about accidentally sending something that could hurt his chances. If your boyfriend candidate can’t agree that this kind of behavior is wrong, then you have no choice but to eliminate him from your list of possibilities. You want a man who will respect you and your relationship, not one who is willing to lurk in the shadows and talk up other women the same night he comes over for a date with you!
Why Prolong The Inevitable?
It’s baffling how many people are willing to have one foot in one relationship and the other foot in another relationship. It makes no sense! If he’s willing to talk up some other woman, why not let you go first? If he’s already thinking about cheating, he’d better be thinking about cutting you loose first! It’s far less painful to be told he doesn’t love you anymore than it is to find out when you catch him cheating. What really makes it sting is that you don’t know when he fell out of love and you don’t know why he continued to make you believe everything was fine. If he isn’t willing to just leave when things get to this point, he isn’t worth being your man.
It doesn’t matter if it’s about bills, his job, his feelings or another woman – if he would rather lie to you with the excuse of “sparing your feelings,” then he isn’t really worth your time at all. A real man is willing to face the consequences of his actions and will trust that his lady will understand him, or help him work through whatever is going on. A coward hides the truth in a sad attempt to delay the impeding punishment. When you’re with your boyfriend, you want to know he isn’t hiding anything from you. You want to feel secure and you want to know he trusts you. If he can’t be honest, then he can’t be your boyfriend. It really is as simple as that.
Think About It
When you make a promise, the other person has an expectation for you to follow through. When you lie, you have no intention of doing whatever it is you decided to lie about. The difference in these closely related words is that a promise really does give people hope, a hope that deserves to be met. Explain to him that if he wants to make a promise to you, he’d better be ready to fulfill it. If it’s impossible or if, for some reason, he can’t pull it off, he’d better be open and honest about it. It’s all part of building up his reputation in your eyes, so if he can’t handle something as special as a promise, how is he going to handle something as complicated as a relationship?
You Can’t Beat Me, Understand?
If this sounds like a make-it-or-break-it deal, that’s because it is. No one likes drama and no one likes lies. Men have historically been manipulative and controlling, so for a relationship to work with you, he can’t be either one. He’d better not walk into your life with grand ideas of suddenly owning a new pretty slave. You’re your own woman and you are his equal, not his servant. If he has a problem with that, he’s got to go. Nobody has time for a man who believes he is the best thing the world has ever seen and that his woman deserves to put up with his constant drama, mind games, lies and manipulations. You deserve better and you know it. Now he does too.
There’s No Such Thing As A Backup Love
Have you ever had a guy admit that he wants to date you, but that he also has feelings for another girl? This actually happens quite often when we’re young – think around Jr. High or even the High School level. This belief that someone can be in love with two people at the same time is nothing but fluff. What he really means is he’s attracted to two people at the same time but hasn’t learned enough about them, or his own feelings, to know whether he’s in love or not. Don’t fall for the flattery because it’s hallow. If he can’t see you, and only you, then you can’t afford to see him in any capacity beyond a friend. You either get all of his heart or you don’t want it at all.
I Dare You To Try
Some people claim they’re just flirty people so they are overly-friendly and flirtatious with everyone. This behavior might sound fun, but it guarantees someone will misunderstand and possibly attempt to lure him from your side. Worse, the other person might believe he really wants to be with her, so she ruins the relationship she had previously, only to discover he doesn’t want her the way she believed. If he’s a flirtatious guy, then he’d better get used to the idea of constantly flirting with you, and only you! If he can’t handle that, then it’s his loss. If he can’t understand it, it’s even worse for him and his future relationships. Just thank your lucky stars that you won’t be the one on his arm when his flirting leads to real trouble.
Trust really is just as fragile as a piece of paper. You can still un-crumble the paper and attempt to make it nice and straight again, but the reality is that piece of paper will forever bear the scars of the one time it was crumpled. Trust is exactly the same. It starts as a given but as soon as he proves he isn’t trustworthy, the damage is done and no amount of time or apologies can change it. You’ll always wonder if he’s being honest or not and you’ll drive yourself mad with misplaced suspicions. If he isn’t willing to remain trustworthy, then he isn’t willing to do what it takes to make your relationship last. Do yourself a favor and move on to someone better.
Honesty Is Always The Best Policy
Girls play mind games sometimes. This is a fact and there’s absolutely no reason to do it but what can we say? Women are wired differently than men. The chemicals our bodies produce are fundamentally different and so women ask if an outfit makes them look fat or if their man loves them even when they have the sunburn of their life and they look more like a piece of salami than they do a human girl. They know the truth but they’re giving their man an opportunity to compliment them or confirm what they already think they know. Yes, it’s confusing, yes, it sounds dumb, but it happens and when it does, the best thing any guy can do is stick to complete honesty.
Remember This Well
Love is such a complex emotion that people often get caught up in it and make mistakes. Though many mistakes are forgivable, some just aren’t. The bottom line is simple: If you love someone, you won’t hurt them. You’ll be honest 100% of the time and in place of secrets, you’ll offer yourself like an open book. Someone in love would never cheat or give their lover a reason to doubt them, and they certainly wouldn’t attempt to offer false pretenses or pretend to be something they aren’t. There is no place for a liar in a relationship, so if he has a problem with honesty and commitment, he needs to know you have a problem with him. Do what’s right for your life and be a little picky about the man you decide to date. It’s the only way to find real happiness.
Source: The Talko