“Poisonous relationships can alter our perceptions. You can spend many years thinking you’re worthless, but you’re not worthless. You’re unappreciated.” – Anonymous
Relationships are never meant to be a hellbent affair. Just because you know that nobody’s perfect doesn’t mean you have to settle for the worst and spend your life miserable. As a communion between two people who actually want to share love and happiness a relationship is not meant to be something that a person feels stuck in.
Many people tend to put up with abusive partners due to a low self esteem. Others are afraid of being alone or never finding someone else if they leave who they are currently with. All of this is actually just in your head. Before you can truly love anyone else you have to first learn to completely love yourself, if not, you will become dependent on their someone else for love. No doubt there is someone for everyone that will give them all the love in the world so therefor no one has any reason to put up with abusive relationships simply for the fear of loneliness.
You might consider ending your relationship if it has any resemblance to the items below, for your own well being:
This is first on the list because it is one of the worst things anyone could ever have to deal with. Abusive relationships have seen people die because if it. Whether it is physical, verbal or emotional, no one should ever tolerate abuse. If you have a violent partner who physically hurts you when they are angry or in a bad mood, do not just tolerate it. They can seriously hurt you, or worse. When being emotionally abused you can easily fall into major depression due to feeling a lack of self worth. They simply do not love you if they are verbally abusing you. Don’t put up with this type of bad behavior. The best thing is to end things as soon as possible and save yourself.
2.Crossing your boundaries on purpose
If it happens once or twice that your partner unconsciously oversteps some of your personal boundaries, you can still forgive them. You can have a chat about it and then move on with your lives. If they do it repeatedly though, it becomes totally unacceptable. No one should have to give up their boundaries just to please someone else. They probably don’t have much respect for you if they can’t respect your boundaries.
3.Not taking responsibility for themselves
This can be very frustrating. You shouldn’t be with a partner who cannot take responsibility for their actions. You will be the one trying to cover for them all the time. It can even be quite humiliating when they start displaying this habit in front of other people. Everyone should learn to own up to their actions and deal with it, not just deflect it to someone else. Your partner is immature and still have a lot of growing up to do if he/she displays this type of attitude.
4.Taking advantage of you
The relationship cannot be balanced if you give more to your partner than what they give to you. They might just not be as into you as much as you are into them. Love has to balance out if you want to ensure happiness. You shouldn’t let anyone take advantage of you for their own gain.
5.Being ignorant of your feelings
If someone doesn’t consider your feelings at all times you might have to call it quits. A partner who doesn’t think about how things would make you feel before they say or do it is not the right partner for you. They are self-centered and you should not entertain it.
6.Not expressing their feelings for you
Don’t be okay with someone who plays hide-and-seek with your feelings and thinks it’s cute. That is unfair. You cannot just say the words, “I love you”, if you don’t show it too. You should always express it in your actions if you are in love with someone and they should do the same if they share the feeling. It is not sensible being with someone who doesn’t have time to make you feel special.
7.Bringing out the worst in you
If your partner always causes you lash out or be in bad moods, you should not allow it. It is only going to be a matter of time before you break down completely. Your partner should bring out the best in you and vice versa. You should want to strive to be the best you can be with them.
8.Trying to control you and make decisions for you
It’s alright when your partner gives you advice. That’s one of the things being in a relationship is about. When they start forcing their wishes on you however, it becomes very destructive. It is unacceptable if your partner is telling you how to eat and dress and act all the time. You have to be able to be yourself in any relationship.
9.Making you doubt yourself
Your partner should support and encourage you in everything that you do. If you’re with someone that makes you feel insecure about yourself and unsure of your decisions, it’s best you let them go. You don’t have to settle for someone who allows and convinces you to doubt yourself.
10.Creating double standards in your relationship
Some people can be quick to create double standards in a relationship. This is wrong all the way. You should always remember to treat others as you would like to be treated. Your partner shouldn’t be allowed to act a certain way about something and then turn around and expect you to act in a different way that suits them. If you have rules set by both parties in a relationship, they shouldn’t be bent or broken by either partner.
11.Acting like you should be grateful to them
No one is doing you a favor by being in a relationship with you and they shouldn’t act that way either. No partner is superior to the other. Both of you should always love and appreciate each other equally. Don’t stay with someone if they act as if you owe them gratitude for being with you.