People seem to want to do everything with their dogs nowadays. You know, go for walks, celebrate the resurrection of our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ, sit watching the new Ted Bundy documentary (probably)… so why not do any of the above while wearing the same jumper?
Yes, this is actually a thing that people want to do. Of course, you can buy Easter Eggs for dogs, that’s old hat by now, but you can also get your – and your favourite four-legged friend’s – grubby paws on one of these frankly bizarre jumpers too.
Basically, it’s an oversized jumper with two head holes that you and your canine companion can get into. They come in a variety of different styles, including a love heart ‘be mine’ design. Just in time for Valentine’s Day, too.
Sure, they’re advertised as being ‘two-person’ sweaters, but most people seem a damn sight more keen on sharing one with a pet. Presumably you’ll need a decent size of dog for it. If you’ve got a dachshund or a pug it’s perhaps a suffocation risk.
Can we watch ‘Homeward Bound’ again? Credit: Zulily
If you want to get your hands on one of these bad boys (surely that should be good boys), they are made by a company called Zulily. They only went on sale on Monday, but they’ve been flying off the shelves (so to speak) after they were mysteriously reduced from £64.99 to £29.99.
Ask yourself this: in what world is paying £65 for a jumper for you and your dog completely unacceptable, yet paying £30 for the same fucking jumper suddenly seems like bargain of the century?
Some fucking people. I despair.
Anyway, enough people have purchased the company’s unusual creation that they’ve completely sold out. That’s me told, I guess.
If you want one, you need to wait for them to get more stock in. Let’s see if the price goes back up to £65, eh?
The ACTORS pretending to like each other. Credit: Zulily
They’re being described on their website as an ‘innovative, modern solution to loneliness’.
Well, excuse me if I simply prefer getting drunk and shouting at people on Twitter to sitting around watching The Good Place with a bored golden retriever up my top.
I guess I’m just old-fashioned like that.
Anyway, the website reads: “Take Valentine’s Day to a whole new level with two-person sweaters!
“These fun finds will bring tons of LOLs and keep you side by side with your other half or bestie.
“They’re extra wide and lovely – what more could you want?!”
What happens when one needs a piss? Credit: Zulily
What more, indeed.