Do you know a narcissist? From a psychological perspective, there are several characteristics that define a narcissistic person. They are extremely egotistic, with an exaggerated sense of self-importance, have fantasies of unlimited success and brilliance, expect special treatment, like to exploit others, lack empathy, are filled with envy, expect people to envy them and are extremely arrogant.
By Joanna Moore and Elizabeth Andal
While these traits should be easy to spot in a person, you need to remember that narcissists are tricky people. They are manipulative and are easily able to con you into thinking they are different. No one wants to fall for the manipulation of a narcissist. It would be helpful to know what they actually really mean when they say certain things.
Narcissists are masters of saying wonderful, beautiful things–exactly what they know you want to hear. They are so mesmerizing, that sometimes it takes a while to realize that their actions don’t actually match their words. You can count on a narcissist to lie. That’s a given. But, narcissists also use many other common phrases that really mean other things. I’ll share a few translations with you. My ex narcs–both in romantic relationships and in my family–have used them all:
“You’re too sensitive” = I wish you wouldn’t call me out on my bad behavior.
“I’m your mother” = I want a free pass to abuse you whenever I want
“That never happened” = I did something horrible and I want you to ignore it
“I’m sorry” = I sure could use some attention
“She’s crazy” = I’m getting really nervous that she’s telling people the truth about me
“Nobody likes you” = Nobody likes me, but I’m going to project it onto you
“I love you” = Uh oh. You are catching on to my abuse. I’d better distract you
“You are my soul mate” = I like this temporary high I’m getting off of you
“People who cheat are scum” = I’m cheating but I don’t want you to know it
“Forgive and forget” = I wish you’d let me keep abusing you
“Stop living in the past” = I’m not sorry. Now, can I get back to abusing you?
“My last girlfriend was crazy” = I abused my last girlfriend too, but I want you to think she’s lying
“I’ve never met anyone like you” = I’ve got five women on speed dial right now
“I’ve always wanted to settle down” = I know if I say this, you will think I’m a nice responsible guy
“I don’t have an anger problem” = I have an anger problem. Why do you all keep pointing it out?
“You’re the problem” = I’m the problem
Sources:
Lifehack
The face of narcissism